In my experience, the first four days of a diet are quite easy. The motivation is strong, the initial weight loss is fast, you’re thinking: ‘Yes, go me, I can do this! I’m a lean mean vegetable eating machine!’
Then you hit day 5. Suddenly you have been on a diet for several lifetimes. You become irritable. Everywhere you go, people are just doing things like talking, and existing. And worst of all, eating. There’s always that one person who eats a two-tiered box of Milk Tray as a between-meal snack, yet looks like Kate Moss. That person becomes particularly prevalent on day 5.
On day 5, you are faced with the choice many women have to face at some point: am I going to be fat, or starving? On Day 5, the former seems the more appealing of those two options.
As you may have guessed, I am on day 5.
(You can read my dieting rules here).
What I could murder right now is a family sized Domino’s pizza, followed by a slab of chocolate fudge cake, washed down with (non-alcoholic) beer. But I’m not going to. I’m going to eat this DELICIOUS packet of mixed nuts, served with a side of air and maybe a sprinking of dust. And I’m going to LOVE it.
Also, day 5 is the day the weight loss stops. The scales stare back up at you, immovable and smirking. You try standing on one foot, you take off your underwear, pluck your eyebrows, think ‘light’ thoughts. But they won’t budge. Past experience suggests that number won’t budge for at least another decade, in fact it will probably arbitrarily go up, laughing in the face of your disciplined starvation, until the moment comes when you fling the scales out of the window and gleefully watch them get run over by a bus.
So this is day 5.
See you on day 6 for more sunshine and light!
PS. I went for a run yesterday. It was a monster. I managed just over 3k; my blood sugar was on the floor and it was hard. That and somebody had broken in during the night, taken away all my muscles and replaced them with lead. But I will try again tonight! What is it they say – things can only get better 🙂